How to find truffles

Due to popular demand, and people asking me in the street everyday, I've decided to give you a quick and easy guide to finding truffles.

Ingredients:
i) Tree
ii) Pig

How to:
i) Select a likely tree, usually a fir, poplar or oak. Helps to be in a Mediterranean area with sparse undergrowth.
ii) Set loose your truffle pig. Once it has found a truffle pull the fella back before it eats all the truffle.
iii) Get on your knees, and feel beneath the surface until you find a spherical lump. Sniff for scent of truffle tuber. Collect in a wicker basket, or maybe a bag.

How to make the perfect cup of Irish tea

Here's a thing which not everyone is taught about when they come to Ireland... How to make a mean cup of tea.

It's pretty sickening to think that not everyone knows how to do this simplest of tasks, so I'll fix it now.

Recipe: Cup of Tea (Irish style)

Ingredients:
i) Barry's Red Label tea bags
ii) Tea pot
iii) Milk or sugar (depends on yourself)
iv) Kettle
v) Mug
vi) Water

Preparation:
i) Boil the water with the kettle, and I mean boiling, not just hot!
ii) Here's the real secret! Throw a good splash of boiling water into the pot, swish it around and fire it down the sink (the water, not the pot)
iii) Throw in tea bags 1 bag for every 2 cups is a good rule of thumb. Any more and it'll be tar.
iv) Stir with a spoon, or let it brew for a minute or two.
v) Pout into the mug and add milk and sugar to taste.

Discovered something savage last night, I call it "The Ham, Cheese and Lettuce Pita" and it's a mighty little beast of a meal which can be attempted with any level of sobriety.

Ingredients:
Ham,
Cheese,
Lettuce,
Pita,
Butter.

Preparation:
i) Pour a nice glass of fine red wine, air a little.
ii) Wash pita and bung it into the toaster
iii) Hold wine in hand a swirl a little.
iv) Drink the wine a little, and nibble some of the cheese.
v) Walk around looking sophisticated with a glass of wine in one hand and cheese in the other.
vi) Take pita outta toaster, butter her up and stick the ingredients into her in any order.
vii) Sip some more wine and enjoy!

Don't forget to credit me with this genius recipe.

So I finally got a blog, nice one.