Discovered something savage last night, I call it "The Ham, Cheese and Lettuce Pita" and it's a mighty little beast of a meal which can be attempted with any level of sobriety.

Ingredients:
Ham,
Cheese,
Lettuce,
Pita,
Butter.

Preparation:
i) Pour a nice glass of fine red wine, air a little.
ii) Wash pita and bung it into the toaster
iii) Hold wine in hand a swirl a little.
iv) Drink the wine a little, and nibble some of the cheese.
v) Walk around looking sophisticated with a glass of wine in one hand and cheese in the other.
vi) Take pita outta toaster, butter her up and stick the ingredients into her in any order.
vii) Sip some more wine and enjoy!

Don't forget to credit me with this genius recipe.